“When will you begin that long journey into yourself?” —Rumi
One of the underlying themes of this blog is to give those with lived experience of mental illness agency in their own healing. It is empowering to know that we can guide our own healing, tailoring it to fit with what we know to be true about ourselves.
I wanted to be an archaeologist/explorer/detective as a child. I wanted to know the answers of life’s mysteries. Was there really a lost island of Atlantis? Was there life in space and did the government already know about it (lol)? What was the Bermuda Triangle? What could be discovered in Egyptian tombs? I had so many questions with few concrete answers. Perhaps this is an accurate description of what it is to be human.
This blog series, Mental Health Mapping, takes the reader through an excavation of what mental health recovery means. There are so many questions. It is a constant exploration and experimentation with tools and wisdom. It is a road with mysteries, discoveries, and continual unfolding of what it means to be well.
Undoubtedly creativity was a starting point for my self-explorations. Even as a young child I explored my experience and emotions through journal entries, stories and crayon illustrations. Here are some of my doodles and a story that I illustrated (an adult wrote down for me) at age seven. I wrote about overcoming loneliness, finding friends, and magic, things important to me at that age.
When I reached middle and high school, I immersed myself in reflective creative projects, to explore childhood themes, identity, and causes close to my heart. These were more than school assignments and more than getting good grades: this was a passion and an expression of my inner journey.
Here is a drawing I made, reflecting my interest in ancient wisdom, and life’s mysteries.
Into my 20s, I wrote poetry, specifically focusing on processing feelings from the impact of mental illness in my family. It was cathartic. It also helped me to integrate the complexities of my life.
At different points, I have dived into collage art. Often before and during my episodes I really wanted to make collage art. I don’t think that creativity was a contributor to my mental illness. I think it was my soul calling me back to doing something I loved, reminding me to pay attention to my psychological and emotional self and the direction of my life. I was off course and needed to recalibrate my compass. I think art making is an amazing way of holding contradictions of life, inner conflicts, and pointing a way through struggle.
While I wasn’t so gifted in art as some of my friends growing up, who painted and drew so beautifully, I love creating things. I love the feel of materials in my hands. I love using scissors, especially those that cut with wavy lines. I love the feeling of gluing something down, pressing an image on paper and smoothing it out. I love how you can add layers, match colours, and add touches of sparkles and metallic paint. I love things getting messy, ideas coming together, and then creating something that is visually compelling and thought-provoking.
I can still remember the year before my first episode, living in our beloved apartment in Kerrisdale, making this project for biology with wire, paper mâché, and paint. I was just so in the moment, and so willingly to let myself create what I saw in my mind’s eye. I feel like my journey as a collage artist is still in its infancy. I’d like to explore more what this art form can reveal about myself and life.
My self-guided healing also was inspired by my love of reading. I read from an early age, and I read different things. It wasn’t really until being a teenager and after my first episode that I began to want to read books on the inner journey. I have been inspired by Buddhism to help me work with my thoughts, and to open my heart up when I have been self-critical or critical of others. I have been inspired by women who write about reclaiming their creativity and offering a path to self-healing. I have been inspired by memoirs of those with lived experience of mental illness. I have found words that comforted, that provoked thoughts and actions, and that shifted my perspective. When feeling low, a trip to the library or bookstore to find something inspirational, encourages me, and gives me a lift.
Another form of self-healing has been through movement. Perhaps we don’t link walking necessarily to personal growth. It’s not about how many steps I take (although when I reach 10,000 steps or more, I do feel good:)). When I walk I can listen to what my body is telling me that day. What hurts or aches? What is releasing? How much energy do I have? What pace is my body setting? What movements does it feel like doing? I prefer to walk in nature or as close to it as I can get. The frog and bird song, the deer crossing my path, the pattern of clouds in the sky, the smells of blossoms, and the sunlight, are part of my healing.
When I reflect on my self-explorations, I realize that they reflect my introverted nature. I am naturally drawn to quiet activities I can do on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I value my connections very much much, but other people are drawn to more connective aspects of self-growth. Support groups, online classes, meditation retreats, and yoga retreats are some examples. So my description of my self-growth is in the context of who I am. I get very stimulated in group healing activities, so I prefer to reflect and learn on my own, although conversations with loved ones, one-on-one, have been huge catalysts for integration and understanding.
Okay, are you ready to dive into making some art?🎨
Therapeutic Arts Activity
Imagine you are an archaeologist looking at your past. What tools have defined your recovery journey? What have you turned to when you are struggling? What practices do you need to do in a week to feel grounded? What helps you feel better? Write a story of explorations that have guided your recovery.
Instructions
Name activities and tools that have been significant on your life’s path. Then think of specific times in your life where you discovered these tools and how you used them. Tell this like a story with detail and creativity. You may wish to create some illustrations for this story, or take some photographs.
Materials Needed
- Blank paper
- Black Pen
- Coloured pens
- Your camera (if desired)
Once you’ve completed this activity, here are some questions as guidelines for your personal explorations:
1. What activities and/or tools do you use on your own for your recovery?
2. How did your creativity evolve throughout your life as a resource?
3. How can self-growth help you develop internal resources? How do you feel when you write about creative healing?
4. If you have a different concept of self-growth or self-navigated healing, how would you describe it?
I think the healing that comes through our own self-reflection is especially important in helping us develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, and our values. The more we know about ourselves, the more we know how to map our recovery.
❤️❤️❤️ With care and kindness, Meegan
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