“To heal is to touch with love that which we previously touched with fear.” ~ Stephen Levine
My mental illness is in part influenced by experiences in my past that have left a negative imprint on me. These layers of unprocessed feelings of fear, grief, anger and shame can be triggered in the present. Not surprisingly, I have noticed positive shifts in my mental health as I heal some of my trauma. Sharing my experiences in therapy and in my writing helps soften triggers and allows me to feel more grounded and secure in the present. This post is just a brief exploration of the relationship between trauma, triggers, and mental health. I am dipping my toes in the water of what is a very deep well of complexity, and what is a very personal topic.
I want to take a moment to define trauma. Trauma traditionally includes things like war, natural disasters, physical abuse, sexual assault, combat, or terrorism (a.k.a. large “T” trauma) but things like infidelity, relationship conflict, financial worries, divorce, legal trouble, or abrupt or extended relocation are also considered trauma (a.k.a. small “t” trauma) (Barbash, 2017). Trauma for those with mental illness can include the following:
- Experiences in a psychiatric ward
- Experiences with the police
- Experiences under the influence of drugs and alcohol
- Presence of certain symptoms, like psychosis or panic attacks
- Reactions to medications and side effects of medications
- Experiencing stigma
Most people with lived experience of mental illness have some form of trauma. In a 2017 literature review study, bipolar disorder and PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) were found to commonly co-occur (Cerimele et al., 2017). There are also links between PTSD and psychosis (Anastasiia, n.d.).
Unfortunately, one of the challenges with healing trauma is lack of access to affordable trauma therapy. More and more I see therapists on YouTube offering free knowledge and tools for those experiencing trauma. It is not a replacement for the relationship with a therapist but it is making healing trauma more accessible. I would challenge our mental health system to offer more professional counselling as part of its services. My experience is that therapy if offered is limited and that not all therapists in the mental health system are trained in healing trauma.
Why is Healing Trauma so Important to Mental Health?
Trauma can lead to triggers. Triggers are emotions/felt sensations/reactions from unhealed past trauma that impact one’s sense of well-being or functioning in the present. Healing trauma can reduce triggers, and end the cycle of reliving the trauma in the present.
In the book, Triggers: How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing, psychotherapist David Richo says that “A trigger gives us a chance to experience fully in the here and now what was interrupted in the past. This is how the trigger experience can help us. The psyche, always on the lookout for an opportunity to heal and integrate, catches onto a trigger so that our original incomplete experience can be finished at last” (2019, pg. 31). In other words, a trigger can be a gift, a window to further healing.
David Richo has a three-step process for working with triggers in relationships (2019).
- Acknowledge what is happening in the trigger by naming your feelings, reactions, or concerns.
- Connect the trigger to your childhood and look for defenses, projections, and transference.
- Learn to respond to triggers instead of reacting to them. Resolving the issue is to respect both another person’s feelings and yours. We let go of a grudge, resentment, or need to retaliate through this reciprocal communication.
When I first read these steps, I felt like it didn’t acknowledge the depth of the pain that can come from triggers and how it can be difficult to work through the complex and powerful patterns, especially interpersonally. There are no neat three steps to healing in life:) However it is beneficial to see how our childhood traumas affect our lives now. I don’t know if we 100% get rid of triggers but in my experience, seeing my triggers, understanding where they come from, and using compassion to soften them helps my mental health. If I can connect trauma to triggers, I can understand my reactions and show care to the parts of me that were (and may still be) scared, angry, and sad.
Here is an example of how trauma played out in my life (I have mentioned this memory before in the blog but not in this detail). This next paragraph mentions psychosis and inpatient hospitalization. I also am talking about my dad’s early experience of mental illness and its impact on me. It is not an intention to shame or blame him but show how trauma and triggers can occur and can eventually resolve.
I have a memory from when I was six years old. My dad had an unexpected mental health crisis while caring for me. He ended up becoming very depressed and then, likely due to not sleeping, entered psychosis. When Dad was in psychosis, he believed that we had lice. He obsessively went through the house gathering all of our clothing and bedding. This fear of lice came back as a trigger in one of my episodes as a young woman when I was in hospital. I was sure that I had lice and asked the staff to keep checking my hair, eventually imploring them to give me a haircut. It wasn’t until I was an adult co-parenting with a partner whose child got lice, that I resolved this trauma through effectively knowing how to treat lice. By cleaning her hair, and the house, this past traumatic experience started resolving.
I have found that, although my father’s mental illness has impacted me, causing grief, hurt, and feelings of unsafety, his wonderful qualities, and ways of being in the world enrich my life. I have great compassion for how difficult it can be to live with a mental illness. We do not wish to affect the people we love, to cause trauma, and yet sometimes we do. I am in the place where I see how his mental illness has impacted me and how my mental health has impacted others. This can cause layers of shame that need healing which I will explore later this month in the topic of forgiveness.
It is also important to note that the content of when we are in psychosis, or experiencing any mental health symptom for that matter, may indicate a trauma or trigger. It is too easy to rule out psychosis as something that has no roots in reality but if you look closer you are likely to see trauma or triggers embedded in hallucinations or delusions. That’s why when someone is stabalized from a mental health episode it is so important to have therapy to try and resolve some of these past issues that may be impacting their mental illness. Also, sometimes it isn’t personal trauma but a response to all trauma humans face that might be impacting one’s mental health. For example, climate change might be contributing too depression and anxiety. We are connected to the planet and humanity in such a way that our mental health can be impacted by global issues.
Some Final Thoughts…
Trauma and triggers clearly contribute to mental illness. Art making is a powerful way to explore trauma and triggers. It becomes a vehicle or voice for confusing and painful experiences. Any artistic medium can be used to process unfinished or complex emotions and experiences. Often creativity creates alchemy where past pain morphs into understanding, release, and even resilience. For more triggering trauma, the help of a trained art therapist or another healing practitioner may be necessary.
Okay, are you ready to dive into making some art?🎨
Therapeutic Arts Activity
Draw and/or paint how you feel about a past trauma or trigger. Remember that therapeutic art making is not about the product but the process of healing.
If you find your perfectionist tendancies are interfering with your therapeutic art making, either take a break or try another creative medium. You will see in my example below, my drawing/painting is very rudimentary. I was getting at the essence of my pain rather than trying to make aesthetic art. That being said, it is without a doubt that artists find healing in their art making. For the purpose of therapeutic art, especially for those who are new to art making, it is important to keep it simple and avoid the stress of trying to make something beautiful.
Our therapeutic art is deeply personal. I share my piece in this post to give an example of therapeutic art making and how it can help heal but therapeutic art is meant for you.
Instructions
Pick a past trauma or trigger and explore your thoughts, feelings and any imagery related to it. Try to find something that won’t overwhelm you but is important enough to be meaningful to your recovery journey.
Materials Needed
- Mixed media paper
- A black pen or pencil
- Acrylic paints
Once you’ve completed this activity, here are some questions as guidelines for your personal explorations:
1. What situation did you chose for the activity and why?
2. What feelings emerged from your past experience? How has this experience affected your life now?
3. How did the art making impact your perspective of the experience?
4. What other tools could you use to help you process your past struggle?
This piece of therapeutic art was so pivotal to me. I was really stressed and triggered at the time this was made. I was overwhelmed by life’s demands and my anxiety. I tried writing my feelings but was getting more tangled in anxiety. Then I took my feelings to art and this image emerged. I realized that I was carrying past and present feelings and experiences from my mental illness and my relationship to my dad’s mental illness that were triggering me. I was also experiencing huge stress in the present which likely opened up these wounds. The hearts represent people in my life and my tendency to feel like I need to take carry the weight of other people’s emotions and pain even if they don’t expect that of me. David Richo has a wonderful quote that helps me remember to care while having boundaries:
“We are healthy people when we let people matter, especially those who are close to us. But sometimes we bring someone too far into ourselves, we overvalue their opinion, we dissolve appropriate borders between us and them. Then we are vulnerable to being overly triggered by what they say or do. Our human challenge with all our fellow humans is to seek a balance between caring and boundaries” (2019, p. 35). Obviously, there are close relationships in our lives where these boundaries are more permeable. However, if we are feeling triggered by a loved one, it might be a time to reflect on this line of caring, boundaries, self, and other.
Today’s activity is simple but important. When art making unlocks the complexities of a trigger, it can act like a compass, pointing the way for healing and recovery.
❤️❤️❤️ With care and kindness, Meegan
In the spirit of creating a community of reflection and art making, your comments are welcome. If you choose to leave a comment, it is important to know I respect your privacy. Your information will not be given, lent, rented, or sold to anyone. However, when making a comment on the site, your IP address and browser user will be collected. Please see full Privacy details on my Privacy Policy Page Privacy Policy. If you are having a mental health emergency, please take care of yourself, and call 911 or take yourself to emergency at your closest hospital.
Sources:
Anastasiia (n.d.). PTSD Psychosis: Understanding the Link between Trauma and Psychotic Symptoms | A Simplified Psychology Guide
Barbash, E. (2017). Different Types of Trauma: Small ‘t’ versus Large ‘T’ Different Types of Trauma: Small ‘t’ versus Large ‘T’ | Psychology Today Canada
Cerimele JM, Bauer AM, Fortney JC, Bauer MS. Patients With Co-Occurring Bipolar Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: A Rapid Review of the Literature. J Clin Psychiatry. 2017 May;78(5):e506-e514. doi: 10.4088/JCP.16r10897. PMID: 28570791.
Richo, David. (2019).Triggers: How we can stop reacting and start healing . Shambhala, Boulder.
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